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121 |Aligning Care - Dr. Petagaye English

Dr. Petagaye English graciously joined us to share her experiences with pregnancy and birth. Her pregnancy would challenge her health and wellness and desire to be a "model patient." Because Petagaye is a physician, her provider did not follow AGOC recommendations which would have helped release her from being her own caregiver. There is a difference between being your own advocate and being charged with monitoring your own vitals and determining when you need additional care. Petagaye deserved to have a provider who took medical history into account every step of the way. She changed providers but still found herself back under that physician's care in postpartum. A birthing person deserves care that allows them to take off the hats they wear every time they enter a space to be cared for. Her provider honed in on issues that didn't match Petagaye's concerns and missed vital information that ultimately led her to change providers at 32 weeks gestation. Her new provider was focused and attentive to her medical care and monitored her closely. She was eventually scheduled for an induction.

The labor process proved stressful as her pregnancy had been shrouded with medical issues beyond her control, leaving her feeling robbed of some of the joys of pregnancy. Leading up to her delivery, she experienced anemia, hypertension concerns, and intrauterine growth restriction. She would deliver her baby after 40 hours of labor. But because her baby was smaller than average, she stayed in the hospital longer for bilirubin treatment and blood sugar monitoring. Unfortunately, she would return to the hospital for postpartum preeclampsia under the doctor's care she had fired at 32 weeks.

Dr. English credits her pregnancy challenges with shifting her practice in the care of her patients. She never wants anyone to feel the way she did during her pregnancy. She spent so much energy trying to be a "model patient" that her care from other medical professionals was neglectful and dismissive. Her advice is not to be afraid to seek care from somewhere else if the care you are receiving does not match your research and preferences.

119 | Birthing in Light, Hope & Honesty - Alyestal Thomas

We first met Alyestal Thomas when she shared her first birth story with us (Ep. 19 |The Power Within) and were delighted when she reached out to share her second. This pregnancy would bring both mental and physical challenges for Alyestal to navigate. Her anemia had brought on intense exhaustion that would require continuous monitoring throughout her pregnancy. And while at times she would feel she had strong management of that, her mental health suffered quite a bit. Her prenatal anxiety was rising, with panic attacks about 4 to 5 times a week. She knew to be in a space to birth her baby the way she wanted to; she had to confront this challenge and be honest about it. So when she connected with her midwives, she was open with them about how she was feeling about her pregnancy. They were able to connect her with a therapist to unpack her feelings and fear. Therapy affirmed the challenges of being pregnant during a pandemic paired with not always having her husband present when she needed his support and advocacy. And that she was allowed the space to grieve missing and losing expectations that she had for this pregnancy.

With her first birth, Alyestal experienced a TV-worthy breaking of her waters. A concern she had this time around is that this wouldn't be the case, and she wouldn't know when she was in labor. However, a week before her daughter was due; she had another TV-worthy breaking of her waters. COntractions were a bit inconsistent, but she reached out to her midwives to keep them informed. As labor progressed, she and her midwives decided their arrival would be best. When they arrived at 1:30 am, they did a cervical check, and Alyestal was 2cm dilated. After some discussion about the next steps, she consented to a stretch and sweep. Her midwives left and instructed her to call when she felt they were needed again. That call came at 2:30 am with the midwives arriving at 3 am - and Alyestal soon after meeting her daughter 4 mins to 5 am. When describing her birth, Alyestal expresses that "birth was everything that didn't know she wanted it to be and birth was everything she wanted it to be." Feelings that she wishes for every birthing individual to feel - a sense of comfort and ease.

111 | Redefining and Reconciling with Motherhood - Amber Thornton

At 39 weeks, around 9 pm, after watching a show with her husband, Dr. Amber Thorton got up and immediately felt her waters rupture. Her husband began organizing and preparing their things to allow birth to flow. During that time, she noticed that her contractions were intense and very consistent. Arriving at the hospital with her doula and husband for support, Dr. Amber was surprised to find that she was already 6cm. Settling in, she continued to move through labor and her birth plan. Labor continued to progress, but after 2 hours of pushing and her daughter not descending, Dr. Amber, with the support of her birth team, decided to move forward with a surgical birth.

The beginnings of postpartum would require an extended hospital stay as Dr. Amber did develop postpartum preeclampsia, a diagnosis she was encouraged to explore after a recommendation from her virtual community. It would also yield the transition of healing from her surgical birth, supporting her toddler and newborn, and reconciliation with herself around her birth. The transparency of "not liking having” a second surgical birth and “working through the what if's". Through those feelings, acknowledging that they are valid and not the sole determinant of her motherhood.

110 | The Sacred Bodies - Katya Suh

Katya Suh and her husband, Ndamunkong Suh felt uneasy in the early weeks of her pregnancy as she had early spotting that would significantly reduce physical activity. This proved challenging for Katya, a former collegiate basketball player, as she was accustomed to living an active lifestyle. The spotting was anxiety-producing, and she grew concerned about her ability to carry her pregnancy to term, especially since they were expecting twins. Katya described her prenatal care as excellent as she felt respected and heard during her prenatal visits. The spotting eventually subsided, but she needed to continue maintaining low physical activity. She felt fully supported by her husband during the whole pregnancy but especially in the first trimester. He assured her that "they" were good no matter what the outcome was. Katya viewed the third trimester as "crazy" as her husband and his team won the Super Bowl, moved into their new home, and began to prepare that space for the babies.

At 38 weeks, Katya consented to a scheduled induction. She was able to have both her husband and her mother present for the births, despite having been unsure if her mom would be allowed to attend due to the hospital's restrictions during the pandemic. Labor was intense, and she chose an epidural for additional comfort. Part of their birth plan was for Ndamunkong to stay with the babies if there were any issues. The first baby, Kingston, was healthy, and there were no complications for him. However, their second baby, Khari, had fluid in his lungs and needed additional medical support with a CPAP. Katya's husband went with Khari to be present during his treatment. After her deliveries, Katya experienced a postpartum hemorrhage - which resulted in her needing to receive two blood transfusions, and she has had a healthy recovery.

Katya has intentionally expressed her needs and emotions with her family and friends as she is still in the fourth trimester. She has learned to lean in for support and credits her village for how they are managing newborn twins — embracing her evolution in becoming a mother, both mentally and physically.

107 | A Second Chance - Rana Campbell

When Rana found out she was pregnant with her son, there was a sense of apprehension and excitement. After her miscarriage in 2016 and navigating her feelings of loss, she had been scared to try again. Yet even with that, she knew she wanted a birth team she could trust and feel safe with, allowing this pregnancy to be filled with joy.

With labor beginning at 40 weeks and two days, Rana worked through the early stages in the company of her community. She would struggle with her anxiety of if she was making progress. Her midwife encouraged her to reach out to her doula to help keep her mind at ease and provide support. After a day or and a half of on and off labor, they decided to head into the hospital.

Her birth plans would shift a bit as she would need to support her labor with Pitocin, but Rana expressed that even in the most intense parts, she knew she would need to succumb to the experience. Hitting transition - she felt uplifted by the ancestors and focused on bringing her son earthside. As she began pushing, Rana was exhausted but even more determined, and after 20 minutes of pushing, her son was born. As he was placed on her chest, she felt happy and an immense amount of pride in herself.

Hospital Birth, COVID-19Laurel GourrierJune 10, 2021Comment

106 | A Peaceful Surprise - Shay & Joshua

An unexpectedly easy pregnancy led Shay and Joshua through a journey of exploration and intention setting that would create a backdrop for a pregnancy and birthing experience that would be become a love letter for their daughter.

Shay and Joshua chose to announce their pregnancy to a few select people. They managed to keep their happy secret despite Shay's work on social media that often finds her sharing much of her personal life. Their journey to parenthood was marked by detailed preparations that included observing other families, nutrition planning, hiring a doula and midwife, and taking deep dives into researching what felt right for them.

Their family learned that all of the best intentions could not stop a global pandemic from shifting aspects of their birth plan, like having a doula present in the hospital. But they were already determined to focus on the "controllables," as Shay coined it. They managed to labor at the hospital but shifted to surgical birth. Since giving birth, Shay has become more aware of her own needs and openly communicates with Joshua. She has been able to lean into his care and ask for it when needed. Communication has been the key to managing their new parenthood journey.

COVID-19, Cesarean Birth, Hospital BirthLaurel GourrierMay 31, 2021Black Maternal Health, Surgical Birth, COVID-19Comment

100 |Prepare and Let Go - Leslie Lissant & Caryn Fields

Leslie had started preparing for parenthood by learning as much as she could and discovered many pathways for birth, parenting, and creating a home environment that would be different from her own life experience. She had learned about homebirth in college and kept the knowledge in her mind until she and her husband, Carvens, were expecting their own child. They hired Caryn as additional support but found that she would be there for unexpected aspects of pregnancy. She found herself vulnerable and needing reassurance as she managed pregnancy during a pandemic and racial unrest in our country.

Leslie sought grounding and joy through the uncertainties of the environment. When her labor ensued, she committed to her affirmations, breathing, and leaning into her support. Learning to surrender to that space and moment allowed her to power through. And birth her baby into her arms. Leslie refers to her birth experience as a “posture of gratitude.”

Home Birth, COVID-19Laurel GourrierApril 29, 2021Home Birth Family, Midwifery Care, Doula of Color, Postpartum Planning, COVID-19Comment

99 | Birthing Their Light - Tauri & Sarah Hayter

In expanding their family, Tauri and Sarah found that Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) was the route that felt best. And after finding out they were pregnant, being the planner she is - Tauri began preparing for their birth vision.

They wouldn't have even known they needed to prepare for dealing with pregnancy and birth during the COVID-19 pandemic. After the 20 week scan, Tauri and Sarah would soon find they would be experiencing their pregnancy amongst just the two of them. Coming to the end of her pregnancy, Tauri was trying all the techniques to get labor started. After a night of nothing happening with castor oil, Tauri found herself a bit restless. Feeling a shift, she went to the bathroom and experienced a movie-style breaking of her waters. She shared the news with Sarah and went back to sleep.

Into the next day, there wasn't much change, and after 12 hours, Tauri and Sarah headed to the hospital. With the support of Pitocin, contractions began coming intense and fast. Working through the night and into the early morning, Tauri started to feel a new intensity. When her midwife arrived, her body had already begun pushing, her baby already crowning. And following her lead, pushing when she felt ready, Sarah caught their baby, placing her on Tauri's chest with all her "cheesy vernix" goodness.

Hospital Birth, COVID-19Laurel GourrierApril 21, 2021Midwifery Care, IUI, COVID-19, LGBTQIA+Comment

97 | Trusting the Power of Intuitive Listening - Jefri & Aigbokhai

For Jefri prepping for birth mentally, emotionally, and spiritually was of high importance. Tapping into her intuition and "reconciling her relationship with pain" based on conscious and unconscious thoughts around it. She wanted to be able to trust herself throughout her whole journey, an aspect of preparation that was key for Aigbokhai as well—finding a way to stay out of his own head so that he could be "in the moment, present and available" to support Jefri in whatever way she needed.

When labor began, Jefri felt as though it wasn't time. As things started picking up, she still disregarded the shift but followed her body's request for movement as she worked through contractions. After some time, she found herself returning to the toilet, her body signaling to her that their baby would be arriving soon.

With a sense of haste, she instructed Aigbokhai to call their midwife, and they both began hurriedly preparing for the baby to come. With their midwife still a bit of way from their home and things moving fast, they placed her and Jefri's mother on facetime. Both of them providing support and encouragement as the baby began crowning. And with another two contractions, their son was born into Jefri and Aigbokhai's hands.

96 | Surrendering to the Process - Chanel Hogue

When pregnant with her second child, the physical aspects of the journey were familiar. Still, Chanel knew to prepare herself for the unfamiliar fully, and she would need to educate herself and build a birth team that she could trust, which would fully support her in moving forward with a VBAC. And while moving through those parts, she would also find that her personal healing would be just as important, this pregnancy being a light for that and teaching her patience and the power of releasing control.

Since her son had arrived early, Chanel was convinced that she would have the same experience for this pregnancy. At 41 weeks and one day, Chanel was starting to feel challenged mentally, but contractions would start developing some consistency, and she took that time to rest and move throughout her day. Their doula supported them in the early shifts and then transitioning to the birth center as things intensified. The birth centered provided Chanel with a sense of peace. Feeling like the "center of attention," which made her "feel covered, and protected and safe." A pivotal moment she expresses during her birth was as she was shifting into transition, feeling fatigued she took to solitude in the shower. She was spending an intimate moment in prayer with God, asking and reflecting on strength to continue. The moment she recalls fully surrendering - her baby arriving soon after.

95 | Just the Two of Us - Jordan Duckens & Rufus Ferguson

For Jordan and Rufus, knew they wanted to spend the first year of their marriage focused on just the two of them. And by year two, they were ready to expand their family, but as time moved throughout that year and they were still not pregnant, they began getting a bit concerned that maybe something was wrong. After a visit with their doctor and receiving the news that nothing seemed to be wrong, Jordan made a call to her mother-in-law, who had had a similar experience. She was able to express her concerns and fears. Her mother-in-law holding space for her at that moment, reassuring her that she would get pregnant when it needed to happen, and the following month that assurance came to fruition.

Two days after her estimated due date, Jordan started feeling contractions and immediately about five minutes apart. Wanting to labor at home as long as possible, she found relief in the tub. And as things intensified, Rufus encouraged her that it may be time for them to head to the hospital. When she arrived, she found out that she was four centimeters dilated. Rufus and Jordan felt very supported in the hospital, and when labor slowed down at nine and a half centimeters, her birth team encouraged many positional changes to help her daughter make her way. And after 15 minutes of pushing, she arrived earthside, with Rufus catching the perfect photo and her extended family watching via Facetime.

Rufus expressed that one area he wasn't prepared for was the transition of postpartum, which was made more challenging with the restrictions of COVID. They couldn't fully tap into their community; being in sync with each other throughout it all continues to help them find and share in the joyful moments.

90 | Holding On, Tapping In - LC Johnson

For LC and her husband, Sheldon, becoming pregnant with their daughter was something they were ready for and had planned. In the moments of confirming their pregnancy, they would also find out that a dear friend had passed away. As LC expressed, this would set her pregnancy's tone, a constant teetering of joy and grief. In the months coming, LC would also lose her grandmother and another close friend - on the day of her daughter's birth. And while she was moving through the physical parts of her journey with ease, the emotional part would be challenging.

LC knew that she wanted a doula again, but this time it had to be a black doula. LC connected with ROOTT. As she moved through her pregnancy, the relationships she had with her doulas opened space for honest conversations - LC was grieving, causing her to be disconnected from the pregnancy and shying from actually receiving the support she needed. Along with therapy, her husband, and the support from ROOTT, she was able to "feel grounded in the pregnancy even if it wasn't exciting."

Due to some concerns of intrauterine growth restriction, LC was induced at 40 weeks. Reflecting on her son's birth, she had prepped herself and her support team that things would move slow and she would be having her baby the next day. But things progressed differently this time around even though she was convinced that she was not in labor - her body and baby telling a different story. The feelings of anxiety and fear left LC in denial, and while she may not have been ready for her daughter to come, Karah was. As LC puts it, "she birthed herself."

Hospital Birth, COVID-19Laurel GourrierFebruary 11, 2021Comment

67 | A Mother Who Meditates - Kristen Hanna

Kristen felt moved to share her birth story with BSIC as she felt it uniquely provided a space for women of color to be open and raw. Kristen became aware of her first pregnancy while traveling in Northern Africa. She managed to acquire prenatal care there, despite language barriers. Eventually, she transitioned back to the states still within the pregnancy and decided to hire a midwife for a home birth due to her late gestational age. Kristen’s view of pregnancy as being an expansive experience helped her take on the challenges of pregnancy. She maintained her regular routine and interests, which helped her later invite her new baby into their family. When her Labor Day arrived, she found herself being called to task about her own beliefs in meditation and the power of the mind.

Her daughter’s birth led her to start Blissful Birth Yoga, focusing her practice on prenatal support. She uses her personal experience and skills to support women and birthing people for the physical, mental, and emotional portions of labor. Kristen and her partner found themselves expecting another child and are preparing by letting the pregnancy flow, knowing that anything could change along the way. We look forward to part two of Kristen’s journey through motherhood after her son arrives.

Home Birth, COVID-19, PostpartumLaurel GourrierSeptember 24, 2020Meditation, Mindfulness, Prenatal Yoga, Pregnancy Meditation, Postpartum Mental HealthComment

45 | A Blessing Amidst Covid-19 - Karabo Rankapole

Karabo joins us from South Africa to share her story of courage amid a changing world. She gave birth on April 6th, 2020, during the COVID-19 restrictions, which changed their birth plan so abruptly and drastically that it would alter all of her best-made plans.

When Karabo arrived at the hospital with her parents and awaiting her partner’s arrival. The door attendants simply stated, “This is where your journey ends, and hers begins.” They took her bags into the hospital, and while in labor, she separated from her loved ones to take on the task of giving birth to strangers in an unfamiliar space. She would later learn that her partner would be able to visit for one hour per day, but the visitation time would conflict with his work hours and the city’s newly implemented curfew to help reduce COVID-19 exposure. Every step further, she took into the hospital required a shift in her mind and spirit. She would come out of her labor delivery as a new being with tremendous strength, and her postpartum recovery continued to bring about change.

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