Posts tagged Birth Trauma
142 | Lessons Learned - Vienna Fernandez
142 | Lessons Learned - Vienna Fernandez

When pregnant with her first child, there was a sense of loneliness. She and her husband lived in a space that wasn't close to family, and working in the city meant a long commute for them—a distraction from being able to be present during her pregnancy. Vienna expressed that it wasn't something she was truly prepared for when reflecting on her birth prep. She knew she wanted to have an unmedicated birth, but when her water broke, and she arrived at the hospital, 4cm dilated, she realized there was much more to the experience than she knew about.

She felt like her care providers weren't communicating well with her throughout her labor about the shifts happening and the interventions provided. As her son was having trouble descending during the pushing phase, her doctor proceeded with an episiotomy and vacuum support - an end to an experience that felt rushed to Vienna and left her confused.

Vienna would hold this memory close when she became pregnant with her second child. From her son's birth, she knew that she hadn't got the support she needed and couldn't trust her care providers to provide the education and advocacy she wanted or deserved. With revelation would be tough as, during her 30-week appointment, they discovered her daughter was measuring small, and close monitoring was needed. Vienna fell into a space of self-doubt and fear and didn't know who to lean to for support. Again wanting an unmedicated birth and knowing somewhat what to expect, she asked all the questions during her birth. And was very vocal about what her body needed. While her daughter came into this world weighing less than 6 pounds, Vienna felt that her voice had been louder and heard in this experience.

Her third birth was the culmination of everything she had taken from her first two births. Navigating changes brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic and the unexpectedness of being pregnant, Vienna hired a doula to help support her. With this birth and pregnancy, she was able to be much more in tune with her body and how this birth would look and feel. Each one of her births had been a deep lesson. Not only in how she wanted her births to be but ultimately how she wants to show us as a mother and for herself.

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Hospital Birth, COVID-19, PostpartumLaurel GourrierBirth Trauma, Healing, Birth Preparation, Postpartum SupportComment
141 | Forged in the Storm - Letitia & Brandon Gordon
141 | Forged in the Storm - Letitia & Brandon Gordon

Letitia and Brandon Gordon discovered they were expecting their second child when she was in nursing school. She found herself in a season of busyness and wanted to complete as much schoolwork as possible while managing her own business and their family.

Much to their surprise, Letitia started noticing signs of labor when she was 28 weeks gestation. After informing her doctor of her concerns, her provider assured her that it was not labor and shouldn’t be concerned. Her doctor was dismissive; that’s a common issue when we talk to Black women who have had complications in their pregnancies and labor. Unfortunately, Letitia was right; she was in labor and would report to the hospital the next day. Fear and panic kicked in, and her husband was a steady source of comfort and grounding as they prepared to welcome their second son unexpectedly early.

Letitia’s birth experience altered her career path, as she planned to be a psychiatric nurse. She’s now a labor and delivery nurse, trained birth doula, and a midwifery student. She brings hope, comfort, and support to expectant families with her own lives experiences and skills.

Letitia opened up about a new battle, breast cancer, during our interview. She is undergoing treatment and maintaining her family and professional responsibilities. Many of you know the toll that cancer treatment can take on a family and their finances. We have an ask - if you feel moved to support Letitia and her family, please listen to her birth story, and donate to her GoFundMe account.

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Hospital Birth, Postpartum, NICULaurel GourrierPreterm Birth, Postpartum Mental Health, Birth Trauma, Healing, NiCU Families, Black Birthworker Comment
140 | Reclamation - Jennifer Walton
140 | Reclamation - Jennifer Walton

“It’s not the baby. It’s you.” These are the words that Jennifer Walton would hear from her medical provider as he determined with a quick cervical check that she would need to deliver her baby via surgical birth. In fact, he later told her that she would never be able to deliver vaginally because a baby couldn’t fit through her pelvis. Jennifer didn’t want a c-section and made that clear to her provider. But the cascade of interventions and the lack of informed consent would send them into a spiral that left little room to catch up mentally to what was about to happen to Jennifer physically. There had been no complications or concerns, but a lull in labor would drastically alter Jennifer and her husband, Sean’s plans. Their first baby would be born healthy and strong, but the surgical birth trauma would linger into their postpartum world.

The Walton’s welcomed their second pregnancy with a young toddler to care for. Jennifer was determined that this birth would be different. The first pregnancy had been easy, and they had the rug pulled from under them in the twilight hours of labor. Jennifer was different; she had been fire tested and was prepared to put in the work to change the narrative that had been created about her body. The weight of her previous provider’s words was pressed into her psyche. She knew that she wanted a VBAC and stacked the deck to support her goal. Jennifer selected a new OB/GYN; she was a Black woman and made her feel supported and heard. Her friend introduced her to the term doula, and where she could find one, She connected with her perinatal support doula, Jessica Roach, at Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT). ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. The heart of their work is the commitment and rigorous training of their perinatal support doulas. Jessica educated her about her rights as a patient, guided her family through a healthy pregnancy, and helped strengthen their resolve for Jennifer to deliver their baby vaginally.

The fear of a uterine rupture would still linger in her mind, but with the support of her birth team, she moved forward with planning her VBAC. Jennifer recalled Jessica’s words in the midst of laboring at home, “Stop fighting your body and let this thing happen.” She did stop fighting her body. She let go of the defeating messages from her first pregnancy, surrendered to the process, and found her voice and strength. She gave birth to another healthy and strong daughter, accomplishing her VBAC.

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Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierROOTT Doulas, Black Doulas, Black Families Matter, Black Mamas Matter, VBAC, Postpartum Mental Health, Village Support, Birth Preparation, Birth TraumaComment
129 | Victorious Together - Chelsea Butler
129 | Victorious Together - Chelsea Butler

Chelsea always knew that her first child would be a son. However, she couldn't predict the circumstances of when she would become pregnant. A global pandemic would bring her aspirations of acting to a screeching halt as production stopped. She shifted gears as she needed to prepare for caring for herself and a new baby. Emotional issues developed as her relationship with her partner deteriorated. She felt alone. Depression set in, and conflict with friends and family grew.

Elevated blood pressure, news that the baby was determined to be large for his gestational age, and gestational diabetes concerns overshadowed her birth plan hopes. Her provider started discussing a surgical birth before she had an opportunity to labor. She disagreed with her OB/GYN's preeclampsia diagnosis and decided to change from hospital birth to a birth center that could support her plans. The midwives at the birth center agreed to accept her for care. She didn't feel connected to them or fully confident about the birthing space, but she pushed forward as it seemed like a better option than the hospital.

Chelsea's membranes ruptured, and she contacted the birth center. She was told to rest and give herself time, and she eventually went in to have her fluid tested for amniotic fluid. After two days of leaking and intense back pain, she contacted the midwives, and they told her to wait again. She reported to the birth center on the third day, and her rupture was confirmed. However, she had not dilated despite feeling like her body had completed a lot of work. She kept herself active and wanted to use water therapy to support her comfort. She would manage the labor, but her cervix did not dilate. She would eventually transfer to the hospital to manage the rest of her labor. The hospital shift was challenging mentally and physically. Chelsea reached ten cms and immediately started to push even though her son was still high in her pelvis. A surgical birth became her last option, and it was quickly discovered that her baby had swallowed meconium and had fluid in his lungs. In addition, she had nearly hemorrhaged. She reflected on the intensity and degree of interventions in the hospital; everything she had wanted for her birth had crumbled. She felt disconnected from the people caring for her and the space she was in.

Carrying all of the trauma home with her new baby would be a rollercoaster. Therapy and group support have helped. She has also connected with the women in her family to help build her connections and heal. Healing comes one day at a time with intention.

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Cesarean Birth, COVID-19, Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierPerinatal Support, Perinatal Mental Health, Surgical Birth, Postpartum Mental Health, Birth Trauma, Healing, Postpartum HemorrhageComment