Posts in Hospital Birth
134 | Making Peace with the Unknown - Ivory & Ernest Levert Jr.

For Ivory and Ernest a previous miscarriage had introduced a fear of pregnancy loss that loomed for a while. Their healing has enabled them to share their story with grace and humility. As the pregnancy thrived, Ivory and Ernest began to manage and prepare for childbirth. They hired a ROOTT perinatal support doula to support their pregnancy. They were able to start working with their doula in the critical stages of the first trimester and all the way through labor and immediate postpartum. Ivory always knew she wanted to work with a ROOTT doula and found it helpful to process her feelings and birth plans in the early stages with someone else.

Ivory utilized our podcast to listen to a slew of birth stories to learn what possibilities could present when labor started. An online childbirth education helped them learn even more about expectations and how labor could unfold. Ivory felt empowered with her newly gained knowledge. Ernest graciously shared that he was not emotionally invested in how the pregnancies would go, as he tends to stay in the now. His parenthood journey grew slowly as they got closer to their due date. Ernest started a grieving process of shifting his identity to make space for a new baby. Leaning into the voices of friends that are fathers, he learned to fill the gaps and help with managing stress for Ivory.

When labor started, Ivory texted her doula and Ernest that she was cramping. She wanted to stay active and decided to take a walk and spend some time with her husband at home as she wanted to stay relaxed. Contractions picked up, and they chose to report to the hospital to see how labor was progressing. Labor would go on longer than anticipated, but with the support of Ernest and their doula, Faith, Ivory endured. She gave birth to their daughter and immediately began her breastfeeding journey.

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133 | Birthing in the Body - Gianna Fay

Gianna Fay, a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM), tapped into herself as a resource as she ventured into her pregnancies. She also called upon people she had connected with along her journey as a birthworker. She started her first pregnancy living and working in Alaska. Gianna had access to the military base for care and where she worked. Allowing her to try out "centering pregnancy" at the base and thought it was a good option for them to allow her to "be the person pregnant." "Centering Pregnancy" is the process of having private physical exams completed by CNM's and doing all the other care as a group with other pregnant people. Other preparation included working out and curating a birth team to support her preferences. At the end of her third trimester, introspection through journaling and reading lots of positive birth stories (as a CNM, this helped clear her mind of all the things she sees daily). Gianna knew that she wanted to be in labor land, wanted to be a midwife and experience birth in her body with no interventions if possible.

After carefully planning and preparing for her pregnancy and labor support, she went into labor at 39 weeks three days with a huge gush of fluid in bed that woke her up. Labor moved faster than expected, and she welcomed her healthy son after managing her own choices.

Gianna and Evan discovered they were expecting again at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. They would welcome their second child as an unexpected blessing after experiencing the joy of their first child's birth. They were no longer living in Alaska and transitioning into new roles and responsibilities. Gianna desired to birth in a natural birth center, especially as she met most of the criteria to qualify for a low intervention experience. But her fetal growth ultrasound indicated severe intrauterine growth restriction. A wave of emotions began to move through Gianna as her midwife brain and birthing person brain started to conflict. She sought a second opinion and started to utilize her resources again to manage her care. However, she had unintentionally pushed the first domino, leading to a cascade of interventions. She would have an induction that tested her patience and will. She did not experience labor land or even feel like she was in her body like her birth with Jacob. Gianna had to pause and reset before going further down the road of interventions. The reset worked, and baby Elijah was born healthy and was not small, which confirmed what she knew in her heart.

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132 | Trusting the Surrender ~ Aureyl Pitts-Thomas

Having had a chemical pregnancy before, Aureyl held onto a lot of fear about her health and its correlation to how this pregnancy would continue. Not feeling supported by her care provider, she reached out to two of her dear friends who also happened to be doulas at the time with the local doula organization Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT). This additional layer of support gave her the tools to switch to a new care provider that was perfect for her family. Her doula also guided her in managing her hyperemesis gravidarum diagnosis. In a conversation with her doula, she realized that she had to address the fear she had about her body. Her doula explained that she couldn't "operate in both." She had to be either affirming that she was truly capable or sit alongside the fear. Aureyl realized she had to do the work and shared from then that her pregnancy and birth would have a theme of continued surrender - surrendering to her body, words, and thoughts about what her experience should be.

On Sept. 13th, 2020, around midnight, Aureyl went to the bathroom and noticed some fluid with a pink tinge. Having done in-depth prep with her doula about what to expect when labor began, Aureyl was pretty confident her waters had broken. She informed her doula, her family, and care provider and went back to bed to try and rest. The following day with the support of her doula, they tried to help labor progress with movement, continued to monitor the amount of fluid she was losing (as she had a small leak), along with her temperature and baby's heartbeat. After 24 hours of this routine, they decided to head to the hospital. The hospital birth team informed Aureyl she would need to get a cervical check to confirm that her waters had broken and how her body was progressing. This check was extremely painful for her, and after hearing that she was only 1cm dilated, she expressed feeling a sense of deep discouragement, and the tinges of distrust of her body began rising again. Discussing options with her birth team, she decided to rest, and as she continued to move through her birth, the trust of surrendering she had put in her pregnancy would still ring true.

Aureyl had to ask herself to surrender to the shifts of her birth; this included the support of Pitocin to help her progress. The guidance from her doctor in getting an epidural to ease her distress with cervical checks and the later part of her labor was supportive. And ultimately, meeting her baby on Sept. 15th through a surgical birth was what was aligned for them. Reflecting on her experience, Aureyl indicates that she could be at peace with each of those decisions as they were all made on her terms. And she looks back on her experience in awe of how beautiful it was for her.

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131 | Unplanned Homebirth - Erica Maddox

Joining us for her second birth story share, Erica Maddox came back with a whole new set of skills as an experienced birth worker, allowing her to show up for herself in a way that helped her create an experience that helped her heal. Erica was a teen mom when she experienced early delivery with her first child. Twelve years later, she would deliver her son early, but she prepared herself for that happening, as she asked to have her cervix measured throughout the pregnancy. Awareness and preparation proved to be critical components of having the birth she wanted.

Labor would be intense and quick, but it was familiar, and Erica had called her sister to the home as she made preparations for her oldest child, whom she hadn’t planned for, to be there. Erica was intentional about not shifting the plan or boundaries with her daughter in which she had not prepared for that role. She and the baby went to the hospital, accompanied by her sister. Erica shared that she had delivered the baby at home and was coming to be checked out. The hospital staff greeted them with lots of questions and astonishment. They were ready to start their protocols, but Erica made them pause and advocated to maintain their bonding time. They relaxed a bit once they knew she was a birth worker. Her self-advocacy allowed her to maintain a gentle transition of environment for her and her newborn.

In the spirit of intentionality, Erica created a plan for her postpartum care to protect her mental and physical health. Building a healthy support system has been the key to developing a healthy family structure for their family. Removing the superwoman persona and allowing her world to shift and change as needed with grace is proving to be the best practice.

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130 | Birth Rooted Overseas - Rokhaya Ndiaye

With a history of irregular menstrual cycles, Rokhaya decided to download an app to help her track them better. In early December, she was surprised to get a notification that her cycle was three days late. Ignoring it for a little bit, but with time passing and no change, Rokhaya and her husband found out they would be expecting on Christmas day. Restrictions from the pandemic would require a 14-day quarantine and needed to get the COVID vaccine if they decided to travel back to Canada. Wanting to wait out her options, Rokhaya paused on that decision. With her first trimester having some challenges, her doctors recommended she should not travel if possible. Moving into her second trimester, she focused on preparing for her birth, but by the time things began reopening, she was past the point of travel being safe, and Jamaica became the place their birth story would occur.

Five days past her estimated due date, Rokhaya began having light contractions about 7-9 minutes apart. With things progressing quickly, Rokhaya and her husband decided to head to the hospital. Upon being admitted, Rokhaya was 6cm, and her water broke shortly after. Reflecting on her birth, Rokhaya thought her son would have come earlier than he did. She had done so much work on focusing on coping with the pain; she couldn't listen to her body that her baby was ready to come earthside. It wasn't until the nurse told her her baby's head was out that she focused, and within three pushes, "prince" Ali was born.

In the immediate postpartum, Rokhaya felt comforted by the community of women she was surrounded by - as, in Jamaica, there aren't separate quarters, and the women all stay together. Ali was born unresponsive, and after having a couple of seizures, the doctors wanted to keep him for monitoring. For Rokhaya, she could not have her golden hour and was discharged without him for ten days. The first 6-7 weeks were hard for her, navigating her healing, Ali's recovery, and breastfeeding. She and her husband found that when they were able to listen to Ali, the better they did, being able to communicate and figure out what he needed allowing them to find their footing in parenthood.

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129 | Victorious Together - Chelsea Butler

Chelsea always knew that her first child would be a son. However, she couldn't predict the circumstances of when she would become pregnant. A global pandemic would bring her aspirations of acting to a screeching halt as production stopped. She shifted gears as she needed to prepare for caring for herself and a new baby. Emotional issues developed as her relationship with her partner deteriorated. She felt alone. Depression set in, and conflict with friends and family grew.

Elevated blood pressure, news that the baby was determined to be large for his gestational age, and gestational diabetes concerns overshadowed her birth plan hopes. Her provider started discussing a surgical birth before she had an opportunity to labor. She disagreed with her OB/GYN's preeclampsia diagnosis and decided to change from hospital birth to a birth center that could support her plans. The midwives at the birth center agreed to accept her for care. She didn't feel connected to them or fully confident about the birthing space, but she pushed forward as it seemed like a better option than the hospital.

Chelsea's membranes ruptured, and she contacted the birth center. She was told to rest and give herself time, and she eventually went in to have her fluid tested for amniotic fluid. After two days of leaking and intense back pain, she contacted the midwives, and they told her to wait again. She reported to the birth center on the third day, and her rupture was confirmed. However, she had not dilated despite feeling like her body had completed a lot of work. She kept herself active and wanted to use water therapy to support her comfort. She would manage the labor, but her cervix did not dilate. She would eventually transfer to the hospital to manage the rest of her labor. The hospital shift was challenging mentally and physically. Chelsea reached ten cms and immediately started to push even though her son was still high in her pelvis. A surgical birth became her last option, and it was quickly discovered that her baby had swallowed meconium and had fluid in his lungs. In addition, she had nearly hemorrhaged. She reflected on the intensity and degree of interventions in the hospital; everything she had wanted for her birth had crumbled. She felt disconnected from the people caring for her and the space she was in.

Carrying all of the trauma home with her new baby would be a rollercoaster. Therapy and group support have helped. She has also connected with the women in her family to help build her connections and heal. Healing comes one day at a time with intention.

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128 | Mothering the Mother - Megana Dwarakanath

Megana knew that she wanted a family, and before meeting her husband, she had even considered taking on the role of parenting without a partner. But soon after moving to a new city, she met her husband; they fell in love and began discussing expanding their family. They both wanted to have two kids before Megana got a bit older and had planned to start trying to conceive after getting married. But their March 2020 wedding was canceled due to the beginnings of the COVID-19 pandemic, leading them to move forward with a small ceremony and begin trying to conceive in May.

As a healthcare worker (pediatrician), Megana was aware of the studies around birthing folks in her field having two times the rate of infertility than others. Many of her friends in residency with her had shared their struggles with infertility. With that in mind, she was emotionally prepared to have some struggles of her own with conceiving but was grateful that she was pregnant within three months of trying. The beginning of her pregnancy was layered with many parts. They were going to be moving cross country; she had lost both her grandparents, dealing with the pandemic and also working through the pandemic and didn't fully have care established where they were moving; Megana describes that time as "surreal."

Amongst her birth preparation, she was journaling, reading, and listening to positive birth stories and remained active, running up to her 39th week of pregnancy. Her due date came and went, making Megana uneasy as she knew she was losing time from her maternity leave. Her jobs maternity leave policy would give her 12 weeks, and she had already begun using some time waiting on the arrival of her baby. Taking that into consideration, Megana elected to support her progress with an induction. Induction included two doses of misoprostol, moving her quickly into intense labor. Reviewing all her options and managing the frequency and intensity of her contractions, which had started putting her baby in distress - Megana decided to have an epidural to provide them some rest and allow her body the space it needed to continue to progress. After about an hour and a half of pushing, her daughter was born. Megana did suffer from a 2nd/3rd-degree periclitoral and labial tear, which would impact her in ways she wasn't prepared for.

Within her great support village, Megana's sister would be the guiding light in helping her navigate all the new transitions. The reality of how debilitating her tear was, combined with the level of rest she needed and what maternity leave entailed for caring and bonding with her daughter Megana was falling into a postpartum anxiety/depression cycle. With the support of her sister, they established some concrete strategies to guide her through this time and enable her healing.

Megana's journey with an extremely short maternity leave due to the American Board of Pediatrics policies has led her to be a driving force for changing maternity leave policy. She wrote an oped that has changed policies in her department and has a postpartum group for other South Asian women to discuss some of the cultural misogyny and expectations they contend with. Check these essential resources out in the show notes.

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127 | Friendship to Family - Giánni & Ron

Giánni and Ron expanded their family in 2019 and 2020, welcoming two beautiful daughters to fortify their new marriage. They were already parents building their blended family, but these pregnancies connected all of the dots and allowed them both to journey through the highs and lows of creating a new life together. They were both interested in having mature and intentional pregnancy experiences.

The first pregnancy was without complications, and Giánni was able to have the labor and delivery she had hoped for. Upon learning she was pregnant again shortly after her birth, Giánni and Ron paused and carefully considered if and how they would move forward with this pregnancy. She had made plans for her life's next steps and knew that committing to bring forth another life could prompt her to delay some of her dreams. They chose to maintain the pregnancy as their family members had recently endured the loss of an infant due to stillbirth. They felt called and chosen to accept this gift.

Giánni's second pregnancy occurred as the pandemic was shifting the daily lives of everyone. It brought health challenges that would make the pregnancy hard on her physically and mentally - including not knowing if Ron would be present for the birth. He had fallen ill around the same time as her induction and was admitted to the same hospital. She had the support of her ROOTT doula but was thankful that Ron would be discharged, joining her for the birth of their child within a couple of hours of her delivery. She would continue to have to monitor her health to stabilize her blood pressure with the support of the doctor and doula as they continued postpartum care.

Vulnerability was and has been the key to working as a team and building a solid foundation for their family. Ron articulated the need for fathers to have spaces to come without pretense or thought about who they are, their occupations, or social status. He also acknowledged the need for partners to create space for their wives to have time for themselves to recharge and work on their dreams. Giánni and Ron were able to come to each other with their needs by defaulting to the friendship they had before marriage. Giánni exclusively breastfed, and she found herself often feeling "touched out." Ron stepped in to help with researching and supporting Giánni until she was able to build herself up as well. Balancing four children proved to be challenging as they all needed something different from their parents. Breakdowns come, and they have kept up their communication and are persevering.

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126 | Blocking Out the Noise - Charlene McCraney

Charlene read, watched, and listened to anything she could to prepare for her birth. Knowing all the negative messages surrounding the birth experience for Black women, she wanted to make sure she was educated for her birth. As she started learning how hormones and the body worked together and the cadence of physiological birth, the layers of fear she was holding onto started to peel back, solidifying her decision to have an unmedicated birth. Other things that supported her during this time included hiring a doula and guarding herself against any negative stories or news about childbirth to stay in a positive mindset.

Charlene described her birth as being "uneventful," so two days before the birth of her daughter, attending her routine appointment, she was thrown off that her blood pressure was elevated. It remained elevated throughout the visit, prompting her care provider to have her stay in labor and delivery for a while so they could monitor her. Considering the additional symptoms, Charlene was having - headache and seeing "sparkles" combined with a blood pressure that would not drop. The conversation shifted to signs of preeclampsia and her needing to be induced that day.

The initial shock of such a significant shift in her birthing plans caused for pause for her. Utilizing the "BRAIN" tool (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing) she had learned in her childbirth education class, Charlene was able to walk through the process of next steps feeling fully informed and focused on trusting her intuition. As she moved through her induction, the rest of her birth plan became just as important; she made sure to use hydrotherapy and movement. She was trusting her body, and as she exclaimed: "blocking out the noise" from her care providers about how to listen to her body. So when her daughter made it earthside, she was still happy that she could have her birth her way.

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124 | Embracing Motherhood - Derikka Vaughans

Starting her first day of nursing school, Derikka Vaughans was surprised to find out that she had also started her journey through motherhood. She would take medical leave from school during her first trimester as navigating being sick and family stress would leave her a bit overwhelmed. Derikka expresses that, in full transparency, "I didn't get a chance to fully embrace pregnancy in the first trimester." and that with limited resources for women of color in her community, "I didn't really know what to expect from the experience." The most prep she had done was planning her baby shower.

So when Derikka started having mild contractions, she just attributed them to having gas. Her mom suggested to her that they could be contractions, and they should begin timing then. Throughout her labor, Derikka had to make shifts to her birth plan but reflected that an integral part of her story was when she was trying to decide about pain management. She had hoped to have an unmedicated birth, and it would be her dad who would allow her to find her voice and do what felt best for her at the moment. Speaking with him over the phone, Derikka explains that he spoke life into her, affirming her and her decisions. For her, she feels that if she had had more support like her dad's on her birth team, many things would have gone differently and that it wasn't until after the birth of her son that she felt educated about birth. She is now using her experience and knowledge to support other families in her community of Montgomery, Alabama, as a birth and postpartum doula.

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123 | Living the Promise - Carrita Flie

Carrita Flie graciously opened up to us about both her miscarriages and birth. This was the first time Carrita shared the details of both her traumatic losses and one amazing blessing. Due to her history, her third pregnancy was heavily monitored. She worked with maternal-fetal medicine in addition to a regular OB as she was considered high-risk. They discovered that her cervix had thinned at 21 weeks and had a cerclage placed to help keep her from delivering her baby early. It was difficult to hear that if her water broke during the procedure, there would be no life-saving efforts for the baby due to "point of viability" gestational age, which can vary from 20-24 weeks in different areas. Her planning was minimal as she could only focus on having a living, breathing child at birth. The plan was survival.

Carrita reached 26 weeks and attended her regular prenatal appointment, and it was without incident. When she arrived home, she started to notice regular contractions and eventually lost her mucus plug. She called her husband for support and was taken to the hospital. The nurse at the hospital immediately dismissed her concerns and denied that she was in labor. The doctor on call completed a cervical exam and confirmed what Carrita already knew. Carrita had reported to the ER three times before that day and was angered at how she could have been better served by the staff and possibly prevented the premature birth. She had a brief encounter with her baby after his emergency surgical birth by way of a resounding cry. He was whisked away to the NICU for care, and Carrita remained in the operating room with her health issues. It was traumatic as she felt everything happening to her body as her epidural had started to weaken. A Black nurse was present with her in the operating room that she credits as being an angel to her and kept her safe from potential harm as her doctor was trying to manage her care.

Postpartum was stressful as she was pumping for her newborn and studying for her finals in her postgraduate program. The NICU stay began snowballing as her baby battled respiratory issues and infections that led to life support measures. The road to recovery and healing would be long for both Carrita and her husband while they were both on their trajectories. The space to pause was delayed for over a year as their family managed the health concerns. Today, Carrita can see not only where she was but who she is now mentally and physically. Their son Isaac, named after the promised son to Abraham and is growing, healthy, and strong after enduring multiple surgeries and therapies.

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121 |Aligning Care - Dr. Petagaye English

Dr. Petagaye English graciously joined us to share her experiences with pregnancy and birth. Her pregnancy would challenge her health and wellness and desire to be a "model patient." Because Petagaye is a physician, her provider did not follow AGOC recommendations which would have helped release her from being her own caregiver. There is a difference between being your own advocate and being charged with monitoring your own vitals and determining when you need additional care. Petagaye deserved to have a provider who took medical history into account every step of the way. She changed providers but still found herself back under that physician's care in postpartum. A birthing person deserves care that allows them to take off the hats they wear every time they enter a space to be cared for. Her provider honed in on issues that didn't match Petagaye's concerns and missed vital information that ultimately led her to change providers at 32 weeks gestation. Her new provider was focused and attentive to her medical care and monitored her closely. She was eventually scheduled for an induction.

The labor process proved stressful as her pregnancy had been shrouded with medical issues beyond her control, leaving her feeling robbed of some of the joys of pregnancy. Leading up to her delivery, she experienced anemia, hypertension concerns, and intrauterine growth restriction. She would deliver her baby after 40 hours of labor. But because her baby was smaller than average, she stayed in the hospital longer for bilirubin treatment and blood sugar monitoring. Unfortunately, she would return to the hospital for postpartum preeclampsia under the doctor's care she had fired at 32 weeks.

Dr. English credits her pregnancy challenges with shifting her practice in the care of her patients. She never wants anyone to feel the way she did during her pregnancy. She spent so much energy trying to be a "model patient" that her care from other medical professionals was neglectful and dismissive. Her advice is not to be afraid to seek care from somewhere else if the care you are receiving does not match your research and preferences.

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120 | Surviving the System - Teairra Cummings

When Teairra was pregnant with her second son, she knew right away. Once confirmed, she began preparing for a birth in which she felt that she was in control. She decided a homebirth was best and hired a midwife who was supportive of all of her decisions to navigate her pregnancy in a way that felt intuitive, safe, and liberating for her.

Late in her pregnancy, Teairra traveled with her grandmother to support her as her grandmother's son was passing. Upon returning from the trip, her midwife noticed a large amount of swelling and encouraged her that she probably shouldn't travel anymore and start bed rest. But a week after her grandmother's son passed, having spent that time on bed rest and her swelling better, Teairra decided to join her at the funeral in Missouri. On March 12, 37 weeks pregnant, while getting ready to head to the airport to return to LA, Teairra felt her water break a little. She called her sister, instructing her to let her midwife know she was heading back to and prepare to meet her at her home for the birth. Teairra's sister encouraged her to go to the hospital as she probably wouldn't make it home in time. Teairra agreed and headed with her mother to the closest hospital to their home.

She had decided to have a Lotus birth, which the hospital was not well educated about or had experience with. The nurses began using intimidation tactics to force Teairra to adhere to hospital protocols that did not serve her, her healthy son, or her birth experience. Standing firm in her choices, this medical harassment continued for two days. Speaking with her midwife in LA, she instructed her that she needed to leave the hospital or risk the hospital trying to take her baby. Her midwife walked her through what to say to hospital staff, what to get in writing so that she could sign out "Against Medical Advisement." Under immense stress and great haste, Teairra left the hospital with her mother, not expecting this fight to continue once she was home.

Being sent by the hospital staff, police began harassing Teairra's neighbors and family members of her whereabouts and surrounding her home for about a week, with DFS not letting up for an additional 30 days. On May 23rd, she was finally able to return home to LA with her son and fours years after still healing, but able to process and share while helping others on their journeys.

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114 | The Birth of Ingrid & Isabel - Ingrid Carney

Within her pregnancy, Ingrid Carney would lean into a flexible and go with the flow mindset. As she came closer to the birth of her daughter, she felt like things would be textbook. So at eight and a half months, when she found out her daughter was breech, it wasn't something she felt prepared to handle. She gathered the information from the doctors and decided to move forward with trying to flip her daughter. Soon after the procedure, her water broke, and she would navigate three days of labor before her daughter was born. On the third day, reaching a point of feeling like she was tapped out, Ingrid and her husband decided to move forward with a surgical birth.

During the early parts of her postpartum, she had an extensive support system, but she found that she and her support system focused a lot on her daughter and not much on Ingrid's healing. At some point finding herself in what she described as a "fog" - but now knowing she was dealing with postpartum depression. Navigating it on her own with her husband, she slowly found her rhythm, and tides would change drastically after joining a mom's group. This group provided her community with others who were also working through their parenthood journey at the same time.

Joining this group would also be the beginning for Ingrid & Isabel. In a conversation in her mom's group, there was a discussion around products they all were using and whether or not they worked. Ingrid shared that she had created something - the Bellaband®. Seeing it and how it worked, the group encouraged her to move forward and make more. Taking advantage of nap time, Ingrid would use that time to explore fabrics and designs and, in November 2003, would have her first sale. The Bellaband® would become a product that brought her family together and has grown into a national company offering a full range of maternity essentials.

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113 | Embracing Change - Charlotte Shook

By 40 weeks gestation, Charlotte had not started labor, and her provider was supportive in honoring waiting for any interventions until 41 weeks and not beyond 42 weeks. She found herself feeling anxious about the possibility of induction and the cascade of interventions. Fortunately, Charlotte’s body had spontaneously started labor, and her doula and doctor helped comfort her and ease her into the labor. Charlotte knew her membranes had ruptured but did not believe she was experiencing surges (contractions). She went to see her doctor after having ruptured membranes for 24 hours at her doctor’s request. Surprisingly, there was no physical evidence of progress in the labor, and the cascade of interventions began - cervical ripening, Pitocin, two epidurals, all over three days. Finally, her body relaxed and began to respond to the interventions. She called in her doula as they had managed virtual support due to Covid protocols at the hospital. After an hour of pushing, Charlotte was able to grab her baby and pull him out as he peacefully entered the world.

Postpartum sleep deprivation marked the experience once they went home. Charlotte made sure to step out for fresh air for walks with her husband. Family and friends were supportive by preparing and paying for meals and some limited in-person support. After a 12-week family leave, her husband returned to work, and things shifted for Charlotte and her son. He started having latch issues and losing weight. They tried a chiropractor, allergen tests (for dairy), and two lactation consultants. The second lactation consultant could meet “in person” and was the most helpful in addressing the issues.

Charlotte encourages birth preparation, and despite the shifts in her labor plans, she still used many techniques to center herself. She learned about all of the possibilities beforehand and offered herself grace to mourn the loss of the experience that she wanted.

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112 | Dr. Shalon's Maternal Action Project (DSMAP) - Shared by Bianca Pryor

Bianca Pryor felt led to start sharing her personal birth experience and how it interweaves with the birth story and untimely passing of her best friend, Dr. Shalon Irving. They discovered they were expecting around the same time and committed to "doing pregnancy" together. It was an exciting time in their lives after they both had experienced sibling losses. They were able to see and feel the positive energy around them. Bianca reflected on the newness of how much information we now have about the experiences of Black women in birthing spaces. Today, it has been reported so much more, but they were not prepared for what lay ahead for them.

Dr. Shalon would give birth via scheduled surgical birth to Soleil in January 2017 with no complications during the delivery. The best friends bonded in the newness of motherhood and leaned into each other for support. Three weeks postpartum for Dr. Shalon, they texted briefly while Bianca was still in the NICU. Later that day, she received another text stating that her friend was in the hospital because she had stopped breathing. Dr. Shalon had shared that her legs were still swollen, and she had low energy. She had also been receiving wound care at home as she was having challenges with her incision healing properly. She was a fierce advocate for her health but was pushed off by her medical providers. Dr. Shalon Irving passed away shortly after - her friends and family vigilant on her behalf.

The Believe Her App and Dr. Shalon's Maternal Action Plan are projects birthed by Bianca and Dr. Shalon's mother, Wanda Irving, as a form of activism and memorializes Dr. Shalon's life and her legacy. Believe Her is an anonymous, maternal, peer-to-peer app created to fight extraordinarily high black maternal mortality rates and save lives. Dr. Shalon's Maternal Action Project works to remove barriers, biases, and disparate practices that impede access to equitable, quality care for Black women and women of color. Their work is based on the life philosophy of Dr. Shalon:

"I see inequity wherever it exists. I am not afraid to call it by name and work hard to eliminate it. I vow to create a better earth."

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111 | Redefining and Reconciling with Motherhood - Amber Thornton

At 39 weeks, around 9 pm, after watching a show with her husband, Dr. Amber Thorton got up and immediately felt her waters rupture. Her husband began organizing and preparing their things to allow birth to flow. During that time, she noticed that her contractions were intense and very consistent. Arriving at the hospital with her doula and husband for support, Dr. Amber was surprised to find that she was already 6cm. Settling in, she continued to move through labor and her birth plan. Labor continued to progress, but after 2 hours of pushing and her daughter not descending, Dr. Amber, with the support of her birth team, decided to move forward with a surgical birth.

The beginnings of postpartum would require an extended hospital stay as Dr. Amber did develop postpartum preeclampsia, a diagnosis she was encouraged to explore after a recommendation from her virtual community. It would also yield the transition of healing from her surgical birth, supporting her toddler and newborn, and reconciliation with herself around her birth. The transparency of "not liking having” a second surgical birth and “working through the what if's". Through those feelings, acknowledging that they are valid and not the sole determinant of her motherhood.

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110 | The Sacred Bodies - Katya Suh

Katya Suh and her husband, Ndamunkong Suh felt uneasy in the early weeks of her pregnancy as she had early spotting that would significantly reduce physical activity. This proved challenging for Katya, a former collegiate basketball player, as she was accustomed to living an active lifestyle. The spotting was anxiety-producing, and she grew concerned about her ability to carry her pregnancy to term, especially since they were expecting twins. Katya described her prenatal care as excellent as she felt respected and heard during her prenatal visits. The spotting eventually subsided, but she needed to continue maintaining low physical activity. She felt fully supported by her husband during the whole pregnancy but especially in the first trimester. He assured her that "they" were good no matter what the outcome was. Katya viewed the third trimester as "crazy" as her husband and his team won the Super Bowl, moved into their new home, and began to prepare that space for the babies.

At 38 weeks, Katya consented to a scheduled induction. She was able to have both her husband and her mother present for the births, despite having been unsure if her mom would be allowed to attend due to the hospital's restrictions during the pandemic. Labor was intense, and she chose an epidural for additional comfort. Part of their birth plan was for Ndamunkong to stay with the babies if there were any issues. The first baby, Kingston, was healthy, and there were no complications for him. However, their second baby, Khari, had fluid in his lungs and needed additional medical support with a CPAP. Katya's husband went with Khari to be present during his treatment. After her deliveries, Katya experienced a postpartum hemorrhage - which resulted in her needing to receive two blood transfusions, and she has had a healthy recovery.

Katya has intentionally expressed her needs and emotions with her family and friends as she is still in the fourth trimester. She has learned to lean in for support and credits her village for how they are managing newborn twins — embracing her evolution in becoming a mother, both mentally and physically.

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109 | The Heart Work of Birth - Adriana Lozada

Adriana graciously shared the home birth story as she welcomed her daughter for the first time. Adriana did not venture into birth work until after she gave birth herself. She started self-educating as she prepared for pregnancy, and books were her primary source of knowledge. She found that as she and her husband were living on a sailboat, they would need to make changes to create stability due to challenging weather conditions of sailing. Adriana knew that she had book knowledge but had no deep-rooted village and lacked “heart knowledge.” Adriana and her husband hired a midwife to support their planned homebirth but still regret not having invited more people to support them through labor and postpartum.

Labor started at 41 weeks as Adriana and her daughter held their own “secret” that would be the beginning of her birth. She managed to labor at home all day long as her family supported her. Upon arrival at the hospital, Adriana discovered that she was not as far progressed as she thought. Adriana tried various labor positions until she landed on a stool, which allowed her body to do the work. Pushing for 2 hours left her exhausted, and she found herself birthing with her brain and not her body. Her baby girl was born as she yelled her out and garnered her anger to propel her body to complete the task.

We found ourselves sitting at the feet of a veteran birth worker who has managed to pave a way for women and birthing people to honor the space of their becoming. Adriana now powerfully describes birth as not an emergency but an emergence. Her podcast, Birthful, seeks to inform your intuition through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

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107 | A Second Chance - Rana Campbell

When Rana found out she was pregnant with her son, there was a sense of apprehension and excitement. After her miscarriage in 2016 and navigating her feelings of loss, she had been scared to try again. Yet even with that, she knew she wanted a birth team she could trust and feel safe with, allowing this pregnancy to be filled with joy.

With labor beginning at 40 weeks and two days, Rana worked through the early stages in the company of her community. She would struggle with her anxiety of if she was making progress. Her midwife encouraged her to reach out to her doula to help keep her mind at ease and provide support. After a day or and a half of on and off labor, they decided to head into the hospital.

Her birth plans would shift a bit as she would need to support her labor with Pitocin, but Rana expressed that even in the most intense parts, she knew she would need to succumb to the experience. Hitting transition - she felt uplifted by the ancestors and focused on bringing her son earthside. As she began pushing, Rana was exhausted but even more determined, and after 20 minutes of pushing, her son was born. As he was placed on her chest, she felt happy and an immense amount of pride in herself.

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