Posts in Postpartum
143 | The Journey, the Pain , the Promise - Brittany Turner
143 | The Journey, the Pain , the Promise - Brittany Turner

Before meeting her partner Tony, Brittany Turner didn't think it would be possible for her to have children. After suffering three miscarriages, she had been on a journey to understand the cause of her losses. There is undergoing bloodwork, genetic testing, and numerous ultrasounds, with no definite answer. So when she and Tony decided they were ready to expand their family together, they were pleasantly surprised when she became pregnant. But having both experienced the loss of children, they both were carrying an immense amount of anxiety, at times causing tension between them.

At 34 weeks pregnant - the longest pregnancy she had carried, Brittany noticed that her Braxton Hicks contractions were coming quite frequently. There was an uneasiness that something wasn't right that she was holding. Brittany decided that she would sit with the feeling throughout the night and see how she felt in the morning. But in the morning, the contractions and feelings were still there, accompanied by a small amount of bleeding. Sharing this with Tony, they both decided going in for monitoring would be best.

They did not expect that monitoring would shift to the need for an emergency surgical birth. Brittany reflected that nurses began rushing into her room without warning, explaining to her that due to her son's heart rate dropping, they were going to need to take her to the operating room (OR). Having to be entirely under anesthesia, the last thing Brittany remembers is saying a prayer to God to keep her and her son safe. She awoke, wondering what had happened and where her baby was. And when she was reunited with Tony, he placed their son on her chest - her son placed his little hand on her cheek. A sign that Brittany says was her son telling her that her prayers were answered, and they were ok.

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Cesarean Birth, COVID-19, Hospital Birth, Loss, PostpartumLaurel GourrierEmergency Surgical Birth, Preterm Birth, Preterm BabiesComment
142 | Lessons Learned - Vienna Fernandez
142 | Lessons Learned - Vienna Fernandez

When pregnant with her first child, there was a sense of loneliness. She and her husband lived in a space that wasn't close to family, and working in the city meant a long commute for them—a distraction from being able to be present during her pregnancy. Vienna expressed that it wasn't something she was truly prepared for when reflecting on her birth prep. She knew she wanted to have an unmedicated birth, but when her water broke, and she arrived at the hospital, 4cm dilated, she realized there was much more to the experience than she knew about.

She felt like her care providers weren't communicating well with her throughout her labor about the shifts happening and the interventions provided. As her son was having trouble descending during the pushing phase, her doctor proceeded with an episiotomy and vacuum support - an end to an experience that felt rushed to Vienna and left her confused.

Vienna would hold this memory close when she became pregnant with her second child. From her son's birth, she knew that she hadn't got the support she needed and couldn't trust her care providers to provide the education and advocacy she wanted or deserved. With revelation would be tough as, during her 30-week appointment, they discovered her daughter was measuring small, and close monitoring was needed. Vienna fell into a space of self-doubt and fear and didn't know who to lean to for support. Again wanting an unmedicated birth and knowing somewhat what to expect, she asked all the questions during her birth. And was very vocal about what her body needed. While her daughter came into this world weighing less than 6 pounds, Vienna felt that her voice had been louder and heard in this experience.

Her third birth was the culmination of everything she had taken from her first two births. Navigating changes brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic and the unexpectedness of being pregnant, Vienna hired a doula to help support her. With this birth and pregnancy, she was able to be much more in tune with her body and how this birth would look and feel. Each one of her births had been a deep lesson. Not only in how she wanted her births to be but ultimately how she wants to show us as a mother and for herself.

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Hospital Birth, COVID-19, PostpartumLaurel GourrierBirth Trauma, Healing, Birth Preparation, Postpartum SupportComment
141 | Forged in the Storm - Letitia & Brandon Gordon
141 | Forged in the Storm - Letitia & Brandon Gordon

Letitia and Brandon Gordon discovered they were expecting their second child when she was in nursing school. She found herself in a season of busyness and wanted to complete as much schoolwork as possible while managing her own business and their family.

Much to their surprise, Letitia started noticing signs of labor when she was 28 weeks gestation. After informing her doctor of her concerns, her provider assured her that it was not labor and shouldn’t be concerned. Her doctor was dismissive; that’s a common issue when we talk to Black women who have had complications in their pregnancies and labor. Unfortunately, Letitia was right; she was in labor and would report to the hospital the next day. Fear and panic kicked in, and her husband was a steady source of comfort and grounding as they prepared to welcome their second son unexpectedly early.

Letitia’s birth experience altered her career path, as she planned to be a psychiatric nurse. She’s now a labor and delivery nurse, trained birth doula, and a midwifery student. She brings hope, comfort, and support to expectant families with her own lives experiences and skills.

Letitia opened up about a new battle, breast cancer, during our interview. She is undergoing treatment and maintaining her family and professional responsibilities. Many of you know the toll that cancer treatment can take on a family and their finances. We have an ask - if you feel moved to support Letitia and her family, please listen to her birth story, and donate to her GoFundMe account.

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Hospital Birth, Postpartum, NICULaurel GourrierPreterm Birth, Postpartum Mental Health, Birth Trauma, Healing, NiCU Families, Black Birthworker Comment
140 | Reclamation - Jennifer Walton
140 | Reclamation - Jennifer Walton

“It’s not the baby. It’s you.” These are the words that Jennifer Walton would hear from her medical provider as he determined with a quick cervical check that she would need to deliver her baby via surgical birth. In fact, he later told her that she would never be able to deliver vaginally because a baby couldn’t fit through her pelvis. Jennifer didn’t want a c-section and made that clear to her provider. But the cascade of interventions and the lack of informed consent would send them into a spiral that left little room to catch up mentally to what was about to happen to Jennifer physically. There had been no complications or concerns, but a lull in labor would drastically alter Jennifer and her husband, Sean’s plans. Their first baby would be born healthy and strong, but the surgical birth trauma would linger into their postpartum world.

The Walton’s welcomed their second pregnancy with a young toddler to care for. Jennifer was determined that this birth would be different. The first pregnancy had been easy, and they had the rug pulled from under them in the twilight hours of labor. Jennifer was different; she had been fire tested and was prepared to put in the work to change the narrative that had been created about her body. The weight of her previous provider’s words was pressed into her psyche. She knew that she wanted a VBAC and stacked the deck to support her goal. Jennifer selected a new OB/GYN; she was a Black woman and made her feel supported and heard. Her friend introduced her to the term doula, and where she could find one, She connected with her perinatal support doula, Jessica Roach, at Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT). ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. The heart of their work is the commitment and rigorous training of their perinatal support doulas. Jessica educated her about her rights as a patient, guided her family through a healthy pregnancy, and helped strengthen their resolve for Jennifer to deliver their baby vaginally.

The fear of a uterine rupture would still linger in her mind, but with the support of her birth team, she moved forward with planning her VBAC. Jennifer recalled Jessica’s words in the midst of laboring at home, “Stop fighting your body and let this thing happen.” She did stop fighting her body. She let go of the defeating messages from her first pregnancy, surrendered to the process, and found her voice and strength. She gave birth to another healthy and strong daughter, accomplishing her VBAC.

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Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierROOTT Doulas, Black Doulas, Black Families Matter, Black Mamas Matter, VBAC, Postpartum Mental Health, Village Support, Birth Preparation, Birth TraumaComment
139 | Birth Beyond the Status Quo - Ashlee Johnson
139 | Birth Beyond the Status Quo - Ashlee Johnson

Ashlee Johnson's passion for birthwork grew from her first pregnancy and childbirth. She would bring forth life three times with a dedicated birth team. She welcomed being pregnant and can recall the first pregnancy as an enjoyable time despite hearing so many negative stories that people felt compelled to share with her. It would be a chance encounter, during her first pregnancy, with one woman that listened to her birth preferences and encouraged her to go for it. She let that affirmation set within her and committed to honoring her own plans.

This foundation would serve her throughout the births of her other two children. Ashlee and her husband prepared by attending birth classes and feeling fully supported in a birth center and homebirth care. She describes her births as amazing because she felt educated, had a positive attitude, and had a birth team that met her expectations. In the early postpartum days, breastfeeding was challenging due to latch issues. Yet, Having set up a solid support system, she overcame the learning curves, focused on her healing, and addressed her postpartum depression. For Ashlee, preparation is vital, expressing that no matter if birth plans shift, if you've prepared, you're in a better position to steer things your way.

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Birth Center, Home Birth, COVID-19, Postpartum, WaterbirthLaurel GourrierBirth Preparation, Postpartum Mental Health, Postpartum Planning, Home Birth Family, Birth CenterComment
138 | A Journey of Unwavering Submission - Ashley & Adrian Cleckley
138 | A Journey of Unwavering Submission - Ashley & Adrian Cleckley

During a global pandemic, Ashley and Adrian would welcome their first child while living in the United Arab Emirates (UAE). The safety and travel restrictions limited their access to their family, causing Ashley to feel immediately dependent on her doctor. Despite being inclined to more natural resources for medical support, she felt that pregnancy made her want to stick to what the doctor said they needed. Ashley started to shift back to her first thoughts about her health, rooted in natural medicine. An unmedicated birth would be explored to match their personal preferences. She and Adrian weren't sure if a natural birth could be possible, as they didn't know if they could or if Ashley could endure it. After careful consideration, they hired a doula hoping to have support with their birth plan. Cesarean birth, epidurals, and a fear of dying in childbirth were the only knowledge Ashley started with as she and her husband started their first pregnancy. Their doula educated them about pregnancy and childbirth, which helped dismantle her fears and feel more empowered. The quest for knowledge began, and when Ashley shared mind shifts with her doctor, there was also a shift in the doctor's countenance toward's their birth plan. The doctor was dismissive and resistant to her preferences and started fear-mongering tactics to alter their plans. Adrian shared that he felt angry during the doctor's appointment because they had intentionally researched and devised their birth plan. He settled himself, and he felt his family was losing control of the situation. The birth team had to change, and it did change; they found a new doctor and hospital that could meet their needs.

Pregnancy became more challenging as their household tested positive for Covid-19 at 37 weeks gestation. A new fear presented itself, as she prayed the baby would not come while she was feeling sick and too tired to care for a newborn. Thankfully Adrian was asymptomatic and could complete the baby preparation tasks, and Ashley would feel better when she went into labor. Another issue did arise as her doctor attended to a family emergency, and they didn't know if she would make it back for the delivery.

When labor day arrived, Ashley tuned in with herself and listened to her body as they managed the day. Nesting set in, and Ashley emailed her birth plan to the hospital as early labor began. She prepared her hair for delivery, as Black women do in preparation for a new baby. She labored at home with the support of Adrian and her doula throughout the next 23 hours. They decided to check in at the hospital and soon discovered that everyone on her service had a copy of her birth plan. Ashley would explore her options for comfort measurements with her supportive birth team. The labor had drawn out so long that exhaustion shifted her mindset, and Adrian hit his daddy doula stride to help her overcome. He stepped out in the hallway to talk to the nurse to support the plan. Ashley found herself in a meditative state as she wrestled with the tiredness of her body and the intensity of labor. She would grapple with decisions that were altering her birth experience that didn't reflect her true wishes. Calmness came from sinking within and tapping into God as a source that allowed her to go through it. She began pushing without prompting or permission. Ashley allowed her body to lead and deliver her son into the world after 32 hours of labor. She was amazed by her strength and the process of childbirth.

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COVID-19, Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierBirthing During COVID, Doula Support, Birth Options, Postpartum SupportComment
137 | Birthing Joyfully Through the Unexpected - Beatriz Gutierrez
137 | Birthing Joyfully Through the Unexpected - Beatriz Gutierrez

A seemingly normal pregnancy was quickly unraveled when Beatriz received the news that she had preeclampsia. She had been managing a plan to birth at home with a hospital-based midwife to support any medical challenges and a homebirth midwife to support the birthing space she wanted. At the top of the list item was a midwife that spoke Spanish, as her husband is a monolingual Spanish speaker. Unfortunately, her blood pressure (BP) readings at 36 weeks with the homebirth midwife were too high, causing her to refer Beatriz to the hospital for care. She would no longer be eligible for a homebirth after it was confirmed that protein was present in her urine. Not only did her plan fall apart, but she no longer felt she would have the safety of her home because she was scheduled for an induction at 37 weeks. The homebirth midwife accompanied her and her husband for the induction, and she helped her manage the interventions. She didn't know how much she would need to self-advocate, but things took a turn as her care provider didn't align with her preferences.

The messaging Beatriz had received from people in her circle had focused on a healthy baby arriving safely. Beatriz wanted to uphold the same priority level to how her baby would arrive safely. She went home for a couple of days by signing an AMA (Against Medical Advisement) form. Beatriz saw herself heading towards a surgical birth, and she pushed pause on the induction.

During this time Beatriz leaned into her own source as she communicated with her homebirth midwife monitoring her own BP and baby's heart rate at home. When she noticed a rise in her BP, she reported back to the hospital and started the induction over. The conversation of breaking her water came up again, but she refused and stated that she would wait for the next nurse on shift to check her cervix. The new midwife told her that the baby was too high and it would be dangerous to break her waters. Beatriz felt defeated as labor progressed slowly, even flirting with a cesarean just for it to end. But she had the love and support of her husband and sister and would eventually push her daughter out safely. She was no longer having to fight because she accomplished her goal while maintaining herself and the newborn child's health. She was able to have a hospital birth, but on her terms, at her pace, with a birth team that supported her fully. Most of her birth and postpartum team were Latina women who heard her and answered the call.

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Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierHome Birth Transfer, Induction, Midwifery Care, Latina Midwives, Against Medical Advisement (AMA), Medical Harrassment, Birth Plan Shifts, Birth InterventionsComment
136 | Receiving Energy from Water - Adenike & Brandi
136 | Receiving Energy from Water - Adenike & Brandi

Their pregnancy journey involved five tries with Intrauterine Insemination (IUI). After two unsuccessful attempts at home, they decided to get support at a specialized clinic. They had a Nigerian nurse practitioner during the first two tries at the clinic (Adenike is of Nigerian and Haitian descent). Still, it would be the fifth try to become pregnant ultimately.

For Adenike, the pregnancy itself would be pretty "straightforward" the most challenging part was managing her Sickle Cell Anemia. Individuals with this diagnosis can have low birth weight babies due to the birthing person cells being shaped differently and how their body carries oxygen. For Adenike, this meant the need to get red blood cell exchanges completed once a month. Due to Covid, she was attending these appointments alone, spending four to five hours getting blood pumped in and out of her body. While a tasking endeavor, Adenike expressed that care providers like to tell you what you can do with your body in terms of Sickle Cell care. That was not the route that she and Brandi wanted for her pregnancy and birth. They leaned into the research they had done and the support of their doula to ensure every step of the way, Adenike was able to support her body in the way she understood her needs.

Adenike's pregnancy was considered high risk due to her Sickle Cell diagnosis paired with other health concerns. Taking that into account, her maternal-fetal medicine (MFM) doctor (also Nigerian) discussed with Adenike and Brandi that it might be safest to have an induction at 38 weeks. As the time came around, they could push this time frame back as her body and baby were managing well. After their appointment and returning home, Adneike and Brandi settled into their nightly routine, with Brandi taking their dogs on a walk. As she stepped out, she noticed a drizzle of rain, along with a woman she hadn't seen before sitting about 20 ft away. Brandi shares in a greeting with her, and the lady exclaims, "You know it's raining outside!" throwing Brandi off a bit as it wasn't raining that hard. Continuing on her walk, she was baffled when she saw the lady get up and begin walking away into the distance with no known end. Returning home, she shared this interaction with Brandi, but they both shrugged it off as they went to bed, but soon after, Adenike felt a sudden sharp pain and gush from her waters breaking.

Labor would take its time, the rain increasing into a torrential downpour as they made their way to the hospital. As they moved through their birth, some shifts were required from their birth plan, along with hard discussions and push back from their care team. Through it all, Adenike stayed in tune with her needs, and when she was ready to push, she followed her intuition, bringing her daughter hearthside as the rain came pouring down a reminder they were covered and held.

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COVID-19, Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierDoula Support, Ancestral Support, Ancestral Traditions, Sickle Cell Anemia, IUI, Birthing With IntuitionComment
135 | The Impact of Village: Rebirth of the Mother - Dr. Vernette Kountz
135 | The Impact of Village: Rebirth of the Mother - Dr. Vernette Kountz

With many stories to share, Dr. Vernette reflected with us on her most recent birth, her seven-month-old son Hudson. Understanding her birth experience with him began way before now. At sixteen, she got pregnant; however, her family was adamant that the choice to be made was termination. This decision would include a deep grieving process but set the stage for the subsequent important choices in her life. When she got pregnant again at 20, her mindset was clear; she was keeping this baby, the beginning process of finding her voice, especially in her womb.

Dr. Vernette had always known she had a calling to surrogacy, even before the birth of her first son - because she had "took life from her womb," she "wanted to give life." Working with a surrogacy agency, she was clear about the parameters of her surrogacy journey; staying clear about them allowed her to build an authentic relationship with the fathers of the twins. Upon meeting each other, they all immediately aligned, and in building a relationship that felt true for the three of them, she is still involved in the girl's life, with periodic calls and check-ins. Most notably, her surrogacy journey was the turning point for her about being intentional in setting intentions for the journey of carrying and birthing life. So in September 2020, when she became pregnant with her son Hudson she had a solid template to work from in building her birth team and navigating her pregnancy and birth.

Her birth team included her doula, birth photographer, three black midwives, and a friend serving as a maternal figure (filling the space of her mother and godmother who had passed). She shared the sentiment with all of them that she needed "to be mothered" for this journey. Throughout the birth, they did this, a moment that she recalls vividly is laboring in the birth pool, and whenever she reached out for support or comfort, there was always someone there. That support gave her the freedom to listen to her body - laboring on the toilet, utilizing movement, and when she felt the need to push, doing it without hesitation. Following the guidance of her midwife, she took a deep breath and pushed Hudson out. The final push to a birthing journey free of limitations!

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Abortion, Birth Center, Hospital Birth, COVID-19, Twins, Postpartum, AdoptionLaurel GourrierBlack Midwives, Black Motherhood, Black Doulas, Perinatal Mental Health, Maternal Mental Health, Maternal ChiropractorComment
134 | Making Peace with the Unknown - Ivory & Ernest Levert Jr.
134 | Making Peace with the Unknown - Ivory & Ernest Levert Jr.

For Ivory and Ernest a previous miscarriage had introduced a fear of pregnancy loss that loomed for a while. Their healing has enabled them to share their story with grace and humility. As the pregnancy thrived, Ivory and Ernest began to manage and prepare for childbirth. They hired a ROOTT perinatal support doula to support their pregnancy. They were able to start working with their doula in the critical stages of the first trimester and all the way through labor and immediate postpartum. Ivory always knew she wanted to work with a ROOTT doula and found it helpful to process her feelings and birth plans in the early stages with someone else.

Ivory utilized our podcast to listen to a slew of birth stories to learn what possibilities could present when labor started. An online childbirth education helped them learn even more about expectations and how labor could unfold. Ivory felt empowered with her newly gained knowledge. Ernest graciously shared that he was not emotionally invested in how the pregnancies would go, as he tends to stay in the now. His parenthood journey grew slowly as they got closer to their due date. Ernest started a grieving process of shifting his identity to make space for a new baby. Leaning into the voices of friends that are fathers, he learned to fill the gaps and help with managing stress for Ivory.

When labor started, Ivory texted her doula and Ernest that she was cramping. She wanted to stay active and decided to take a walk and spend some time with her husband at home as she wanted to stay relaxed. Contractions picked up, and they chose to report to the hospital to see how labor was progressing. Labor would go on longer than anticipated, but with the support of Ernest and their doula, Faith, Ivory endured. She gave birth to their daughter and immediately began her breastfeeding journey.

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COVID-19, Hospital Birth, Loss, PostpartumLaurel GourrierROOTT Doulas, Miscarriage Stories, Birth Preparation, Partner Support, Midwife, Doula of Color, Community SupportComment
133 | Birthing in the Body - Gianna Fay
133 | Birthing in the Body - Gianna Fay

Gianna Fay, a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM), tapped into herself as a resource as she ventured into her pregnancies. She also called upon people she had connected with along her journey as a birthworker. She started her first pregnancy living and working in Alaska. Gianna had access to the military base for care and where she worked. Allowing her to try out "centering pregnancy" at the base and thought it was a good option for them to allow her to "be the person pregnant." "Centering Pregnancy" is the process of having private physical exams completed by CNM's and doing all the other care as a group with other pregnant people. Other preparation included working out and curating a birth team to support her preferences. At the end of her third trimester, introspection through journaling and reading lots of positive birth stories (as a CNM, this helped clear her mind of all the things she sees daily). Gianna knew that she wanted to be in labor land, wanted to be a midwife and experience birth in her body with no interventions if possible.

After carefully planning and preparing for her pregnancy and labor support, she went into labor at 39 weeks three days with a huge gush of fluid in bed that woke her up. Labor moved faster than expected, and she welcomed her healthy son after managing her own choices.

Gianna and Evan discovered they were expecting again at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. They would welcome their second child as an unexpected blessing after experiencing the joy of their first child's birth. They were no longer living in Alaska and transitioning into new roles and responsibilities. Gianna desired to birth in a natural birth center, especially as she met most of the criteria to qualify for a low intervention experience. But her fetal growth ultrasound indicated severe intrauterine growth restriction. A wave of emotions began to move through Gianna as her midwife brain and birthing person brain started to conflict. She sought a second opinion and started to utilize her resources again to manage her care. However, she had unintentionally pushed the first domino, leading to a cascade of interventions. She would have an induction that tested her patience and will. She did not experience labor land or even feel like she was in her body like her birth with Jacob. Gianna had to pause and reset before going further down the road of interventions. The reset worked, and baby Elijah was born healthy and was not small, which confirmed what she knew in her heart.

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COVID-19, Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierBlack Midwives, Certified Nurse Midwife, Induction, Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR), Tearing During Birth, Birth Preparation, Maternal Mental HealthComment
132 | Trusting the Surrender ~ Aureyl Pitts-Thomas
132 | Trusting the Surrender ~ Aureyl Pitts-Thomas

Having had a chemical pregnancy before, Aureyl held onto a lot of fear about her health and its correlation to how this pregnancy would continue. Not feeling supported by her care provider, she reached out to two of her dear friends who also happened to be doulas at the time with the local doula organization Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT). This additional layer of support gave her the tools to switch to a new care provider that was perfect for her family. Her doula also guided her in managing her hyperemesis gravidarum diagnosis. In a conversation with her doula, she realized that she had to address the fear she had about her body. Her doula explained that she couldn't "operate in both." She had to be either affirming that she was truly capable or sit alongside the fear. Aureyl realized she had to do the work and shared from then that her pregnancy and birth would have a theme of continued surrender - surrendering to her body, words, and thoughts about what her experience should be.

On Sept. 13th, 2020, around midnight, Aureyl went to the bathroom and noticed some fluid with a pink tinge. Having done in-depth prep with her doula about what to expect when labor began, Aureyl was pretty confident her waters had broken. She informed her doula, her family, and care provider and went back to bed to try and rest. The following day with the support of her doula, they tried to help labor progress with movement, continued to monitor the amount of fluid she was losing (as she had a small leak), along with her temperature and baby's heartbeat. After 24 hours of this routine, they decided to head to the hospital. The hospital birth team informed Aureyl she would need to get a cervical check to confirm that her waters had broken and how her body was progressing. This check was extremely painful for her, and after hearing that she was only 1cm dilated, she expressed feeling a sense of deep discouragement, and the tinges of distrust of her body began rising again. Discussing options with her birth team, she decided to rest, and as she continued to move through her birth, the trust of surrendering she had put in her pregnancy would still ring true.

Aureyl had to ask herself to surrender to the shifts of her birth; this included the support of Pitocin to help her progress. The guidance from her doctor in getting an epidural to ease her distress with cervical checks and the later part of her labor was supportive. And ultimately, meeting her baby on Sept. 15th through a surgical birth was what was aligned for them. Reflecting on her experience, Aureyl indicates that she could be at peace with each of those decisions as they were all made on her terms. And she looks back on her experience in awe of how beautiful it was for her.

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COVID-19, Hospital Birth, Loss, Postpartum, Cesarean BirthLaurel GourrierROOTT Doulas, Doula of Color, Black Doulas, Doula Support, Black Birth Matters, Maternal Mental Health, Birth Plan Shifts, Trust Birth, Surgical BirthComment
131 | Unplanned Homebirth - Erica Maddox
131 | Unplanned Homebirth - Erica Maddox

Joining us for her second birth story share, Erica Maddox came back with a whole new set of skills as an experienced birth worker, allowing her to show up for herself in a way that helped her create an experience that helped her heal. Erica was a teen mom when she experienced early delivery with her first child. Twelve years later, she would deliver her son early, but she prepared herself for that happening, as she asked to have her cervix measured throughout the pregnancy. Awareness and preparation proved to be critical components of having the birth she wanted.

Labor would be intense and quick, but it was familiar, and Erica had called her sister to the home as she made preparations for her oldest child, whom she hadn’t planned for, to be there. Erica was intentional about not shifting the plan or boundaries with her daughter in which she had not prepared for that role. She and the baby went to the hospital, accompanied by her sister. Erica shared that she had delivered the baby at home and was coming to be checked out. The hospital staff greeted them with lots of questions and astonishment. They were ready to start their protocols, but Erica made them pause and advocated to maintain their bonding time. They relaxed a bit once they knew she was a birth worker. Her self-advocacy allowed her to maintain a gentle transition of environment for her and her newborn.

In the spirit of intentionality, Erica created a plan for her postpartum care to protect her mental and physical health. Building a healthy support system has been the key to developing a healthy family structure for their family. Removing the superwoman persona and allowing her world to shift and change as needed with grace is proving to be the best practice.

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Home Birth, Hospital Birth, Postpartum, UnassistedLaurel GourrierUnplanned Homebirth, Home Birth Transfer, Birth Advocacy, Doula of ColorComment
130 | Birth Rooted Overseas - Rokhaya Ndiaye
130 | Birth Rooted Overseas - Rokhaya Ndiaye

With a history of irregular menstrual cycles, Rokhaya decided to download an app to help her track them better. In early December, she was surprised to get a notification that her cycle was three days late. Ignoring it for a little bit, but with time passing and no change, Rokhaya and her husband found out they would be expecting on Christmas day. Restrictions from the pandemic would require a 14-day quarantine and needed to get the COVID vaccine if they decided to travel back to Canada. Wanting to wait out her options, Rokhaya paused on that decision. With her first trimester having some challenges, her doctors recommended she should not travel if possible. Moving into her second trimester, she focused on preparing for her birth, but by the time things began reopening, she was past the point of travel being safe, and Jamaica became the place their birth story would occur.

Five days past her estimated due date, Rokhaya began having light contractions about 7-9 minutes apart. With things progressing quickly, Rokhaya and her husband decided to head to the hospital. Upon being admitted, Rokhaya was 6cm, and her water broke shortly after. Reflecting on her birth, Rokhaya thought her son would have come earlier than he did. She had done so much work on focusing on coping with the pain; she couldn't listen to her body that her baby was ready to come earthside. It wasn't until the nurse told her her baby's head was out that she focused, and within three pushes, "prince" Ali was born.

In the immediate postpartum, Rokhaya felt comforted by the community of women she was surrounded by - as, in Jamaica, there aren't separate quarters, and the women all stay together. Ali was born unresponsive, and after having a couple of seizures, the doctors wanted to keep him for monitoring. For Rokhaya, she could not have her golden hour and was discharged without him for ten days. The first 6-7 weeks were hard for her, navigating her healing, Ali's recovery, and breastfeeding. She and her husband found that when they were able to listen to Ali, the better they did, being able to communicate and figure out what he needed allowing them to find their footing in parenthood.

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COVID-19, Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierBlack Families Matter, Black Mamas Matter, Birthing During COVID, HypnobirthComment
129 | Victorious Together - Chelsea Butler
129 | Victorious Together - Chelsea Butler

Chelsea always knew that her first child would be a son. However, she couldn't predict the circumstances of when she would become pregnant. A global pandemic would bring her aspirations of acting to a screeching halt as production stopped. She shifted gears as she needed to prepare for caring for herself and a new baby. Emotional issues developed as her relationship with her partner deteriorated. She felt alone. Depression set in, and conflict with friends and family grew.

Elevated blood pressure, news that the baby was determined to be large for his gestational age, and gestational diabetes concerns overshadowed her birth plan hopes. Her provider started discussing a surgical birth before she had an opportunity to labor. She disagreed with her OB/GYN's preeclampsia diagnosis and decided to change from hospital birth to a birth center that could support her plans. The midwives at the birth center agreed to accept her for care. She didn't feel connected to them or fully confident about the birthing space, but she pushed forward as it seemed like a better option than the hospital.

Chelsea's membranes ruptured, and she contacted the birth center. She was told to rest and give herself time, and she eventually went in to have her fluid tested for amniotic fluid. After two days of leaking and intense back pain, she contacted the midwives, and they told her to wait again. She reported to the birth center on the third day, and her rupture was confirmed. However, she had not dilated despite feeling like her body had completed a lot of work. She kept herself active and wanted to use water therapy to support her comfort. She would manage the labor, but her cervix did not dilate. She would eventually transfer to the hospital to manage the rest of her labor. The hospital shift was challenging mentally and physically. Chelsea reached ten cms and immediately started to push even though her son was still high in her pelvis. A surgical birth became her last option, and it was quickly discovered that her baby had swallowed meconium and had fluid in his lungs. In addition, she had nearly hemorrhaged. She reflected on the intensity and degree of interventions in the hospital; everything she had wanted for her birth had crumbled. She felt disconnected from the people caring for her and the space she was in.

Carrying all of the trauma home with her new baby would be a rollercoaster. Therapy and group support have helped. She has also connected with the women in her family to help build her connections and heal. Healing comes one day at a time with intention.

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Cesarean Birth, COVID-19, Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierPerinatal Support, Perinatal Mental Health, Surgical Birth, Postpartum Mental Health, Birth Trauma, Healing, Postpartum HemorrhageComment
128 | Mothering the Mother - Megana Dwarakanath
128 | Mothering the Mother - Megana Dwarakanath

Megana knew that she wanted a family, and before meeting her husband, she had even considered taking on the role of parenting without a partner. But soon after moving to a new city, she met her husband; they fell in love and began discussing expanding their family. They both wanted to have two kids before Megana got a bit older and had planned to start trying to conceive after getting married. But their March 2020 wedding was canceled due to the beginnings of the COVID-19 pandemic, leading them to move forward with a small ceremony and begin trying to conceive in May.

As a healthcare worker (pediatrician), Megana was aware of the studies around birthing folks in her field having two times the rate of infertility than others. Many of her friends in residency with her had shared their struggles with infertility. With that in mind, she was emotionally prepared to have some struggles of her own with conceiving but was grateful that she was pregnant within three months of trying. The beginning of her pregnancy was layered with many parts. They were going to be moving cross country; she had lost both her grandparents, dealing with the pandemic and also working through the pandemic and didn't fully have care established where they were moving; Megana describes that time as "surreal."

Amongst her birth preparation, she was journaling, reading, and listening to positive birth stories and remained active, running up to her 39th week of pregnancy. Her due date came and went, making Megana uneasy as she knew she was losing time from her maternity leave. Her jobs maternity leave policy would give her 12 weeks, and she had already begun using some time waiting on the arrival of her baby. Taking that into consideration, Megana elected to support her progress with an induction. Induction included two doses of misoprostol, moving her quickly into intense labor. Reviewing all her options and managing the frequency and intensity of her contractions, which had started putting her baby in distress - Megana decided to have an epidural to provide them some rest and allow her body the space it needed to continue to progress. After about an hour and a half of pushing, her daughter was born. Megana did suffer from a 2nd/3rd-degree periclitoral and labial tear, which would impact her in ways she wasn't prepared for.

Within her great support village, Megana's sister would be the guiding light in helping her navigate all the new transitions. The reality of how debilitating her tear was, combined with the level of rest she needed and what maternity leave entailed for caring and bonding with her daughter Megana was falling into a postpartum anxiety/depression cycle. With the support of her sister, they established some concrete strategies to guide her through this time and enable her healing.

Megana's journey with an extremely short maternity leave due to the American Board of Pediatrics policies has led her to be a driving force for changing maternity leave policy. She wrote an oped that has changed policies in her department and has a postpartum group for other South Asian women to discuss some of the cultural misogyny and expectations they contend with. Check these essential resources out in the show notes.

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COVID-19, Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierBirthing During COVID, Postpartum Anxiety, Postpartum Mental Health, Postpartum Depression, Postpartum Support, Community Support, Maternity Leave, Tearing During Birth, Healthcare Worker, InductionComment
127 | Friendship to Family - Giánni & Ron
127 | Friendship to Family - Giánni & Ron

Giánni and Ron expanded their family in 2019 and 2020, welcoming two beautiful daughters to fortify their new marriage. They were already parents building their blended family, but these pregnancies connected all of the dots and allowed them both to journey through the highs and lows of creating a new life together. They were both interested in having mature and intentional pregnancy experiences.

The first pregnancy was without complications, and Giánni was able to have the labor and delivery she had hoped for. Upon learning she was pregnant again shortly after her birth, Giánni and Ron paused and carefully considered if and how they would move forward with this pregnancy. She had made plans for her life's next steps and knew that committing to bring forth another life could prompt her to delay some of her dreams. They chose to maintain the pregnancy as their family members had recently endured the loss of an infant due to stillbirth. They felt called and chosen to accept this gift.

Giánni's second pregnancy occurred as the pandemic was shifting the daily lives of everyone. It brought health challenges that would make the pregnancy hard on her physically and mentally - including not knowing if Ron would be present for the birth. He had fallen ill around the same time as her induction and was admitted to the same hospital. She had the support of her ROOTT doula but was thankful that Ron would be discharged, joining her for the birth of their child within a couple of hours of her delivery. She would continue to have to monitor her health to stabilize her blood pressure with the support of the doctor and doula as they continued postpartum care.

Vulnerability was and has been the key to working as a team and building a solid foundation for their family. Ron articulated the need for fathers to have spaces to come without pretense or thought about who they are, their occupations, or social status. He also acknowledged the need for partners to create space for their wives to have time for themselves to recharge and work on their dreams. Giánni and Ron were able to come to each other with their needs by defaulting to the friendship they had before marriage. Giánni exclusively breastfed, and she found herself often feeling "touched out." Ron stepped in to help with researching and supporting Giánni until she was able to build herself up as well. Balancing four children proved to be challenging as they all needed something different from their parents. Breakdowns come, and they have kept up their communication and are persevering.

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COVID-19, Hospital Birth, Loss, PostpartumLaurel GourrierROOTT Doulas, Black Doulas, Birthing During COVID, Miscarriage Stories, Stillbirth, Blended Family, Postpartum SupportComment
126 | Blocking Out the Noise - Charlene McCraney
126 | Blocking Out the Noise - Charlene McCraney

Charlene read, watched, and listened to anything she could to prepare for her birth. Knowing all the negative messages surrounding the birth experience for Black women, she wanted to make sure she was educated for her birth. As she started learning how hormones and the body worked together and the cadence of physiological birth, the layers of fear she was holding onto started to peel back, solidifying her decision to have an unmedicated birth. Other things that supported her during this time included hiring a doula and guarding herself against any negative stories or news about childbirth to stay in a positive mindset.

Charlene described her birth as being "uneventful," so two days before the birth of her daughter, attending her routine appointment, she was thrown off that her blood pressure was elevated. It remained elevated throughout the visit, prompting her care provider to have her stay in labor and delivery for a while so they could monitor her. Considering the additional symptoms, Charlene was having - headache and seeing "sparkles" combined with a blood pressure that would not drop. The conversation shifted to signs of preeclampsia and her needing to be induced that day.

The initial shock of such a significant shift in her birthing plans caused for pause for her. Utilizing the "BRAIN" tool (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing) she had learned in her childbirth education class, Charlene was able to walk through the process of next steps feeling fully informed and focused on trusting her intuition. As she moved through her induction, the rest of her birth plan became just as important; she made sure to use hydrotherapy and movement. She was trusting her body, and as she exclaimed: "blocking out the noise" from her care providers about how to listen to her body. So when her daughter made it earthside, she was still happy that she could have her birth her way.

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Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierDoula Support, Birth Without Fear, Preeclampsia, Birthing With Intuition, InductionComment
124 | Embracing Motherhood - Derikka Vaughans
124 | Embracing Motherhood - Derikka Vaughans

Starting her first day of nursing school, Derikka Vaughans was surprised to find out that she had also started her journey through motherhood. She would take medical leave from school during her first trimester as navigating being sick and family stress would leave her a bit overwhelmed. Derikka expresses that, in full transparency, "I didn't get a chance to fully embrace pregnancy in the first trimester." and that with limited resources for women of color in her community, "I didn't really know what to expect from the experience." The most prep she had done was planning her baby shower.

So when Derikka started having mild contractions, she just attributed them to having gas. Her mom suggested to her that they could be contractions, and they should begin timing then. Throughout her labor, Derikka had to make shifts to her birth plan but reflected that an integral part of her story was when she was trying to decide about pain management. She had hoped to have an unmedicated birth, and it would be her dad who would allow her to find her voice and do what felt best for her at the moment. Speaking with him over the phone, Derikka explains that he spoke life into her, affirming her and her decisions. For her, she feels that if she had had more support like her dad's on her birth team, many things would have gone differently and that it wasn't until after the birth of her son that she felt educated about birth. She is now using her experience and knowledge to support other families in her community of Montgomery, Alabama, as a birth and postpartum doula.

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Hospital Birth, PostpartumLaurel GourrierBirth Preparation, Doula of Color, Black Families Matter, Black DoulasComment
123 | Living the Promise - Carrita Flie
123 | Living the Promise - Carrita Flie

Carrita Flie graciously opened up to us about both her miscarriages and birth. This was the first time Carrita shared the details of both her traumatic losses and one amazing blessing. Due to her history, her third pregnancy was heavily monitored. She worked with maternal-fetal medicine in addition to a regular OB as she was considered high-risk. They discovered that her cervix had thinned at 21 weeks and had a cerclage placed to help keep her from delivering her baby early. It was difficult to hear that if her water broke during the procedure, there would be no life-saving efforts for the baby due to "point of viability" gestational age, which can vary from 20-24 weeks in different areas. Her planning was minimal as she could only focus on having a living, breathing child at birth. The plan was survival.

Carrita reached 26 weeks and attended her regular prenatal appointment, and it was without incident. When she arrived home, she started to notice regular contractions and eventually lost her mucus plug. She called her husband for support and was taken to the hospital. The nurse at the hospital immediately dismissed her concerns and denied that she was in labor. The doctor on call completed a cervical exam and confirmed what Carrita already knew. Carrita had reported to the ER three times before that day and was angered at how she could have been better served by the staff and possibly prevented the premature birth. She had a brief encounter with her baby after his emergency surgical birth by way of a resounding cry. He was whisked away to the NICU for care, and Carrita remained in the operating room with her health issues. It was traumatic as she felt everything happening to her body as her epidural had started to weaken. A Black nurse was present with her in the operating room that she credits as being an angel to her and kept her safe from potential harm as her doctor was trying to manage her care.

Postpartum was stressful as she was pumping for her newborn and studying for her finals in her postgraduate program. The NICU stay began snowballing as her baby battled respiratory issues and infections that led to life support measures. The road to recovery and healing would be long for both Carrita and her husband while they were both on their trajectories. The space to pause was delayed for over a year as their family managed the health concerns. Today, Carrita can see not only where she was but who she is now mentally and physically. Their son Isaac, named after the promised son to Abraham and is growing, healthy, and strong after enduring multiple surgeries and therapies.

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Hospital Birth, Loss, NICU, PostpartumLaurel GourrierNiCU Families, Emergency Surgical Birth, Preterm Babies, Cervical Cerclage, Postpartum Mental HealthComment